And so another Christmas passes us by. Wow, it seems so unreal that time flies so quickly - I mean, never thought I'd feel this young at 28 (Plus VAT plus interest plus pension tax...) With new year celebrations facing us at the end of this week, maybe it's time to reflect on the past year and to be thankful for what we have.
I can probably list a whole lot of individual things here, but there is one thing that has dominated my year and this is the single most important thing, and this little thing is simply called LOVE. I'm blessed beyond belief by people who love me, the love I can show others and the love that surrounds me everywhere I go. Friends, family, FC, my work mates, everyone!
How amazing is this that we can end a year and the only thing I can really think of is how wonderfully loved I am and how many folks I can love in return.
For this, I am truly thankful,
TTFN
Tuesday 28 December 2010
Monday 20 December 2010
'this the season for some folly...
Enough already... This black mood of mine has only succeeded in making my life a misery and this stops now! Here, immediately. I've got so much going for me and here I am having my own little pity party and thinkin' - why me?
Well, the answer is pretty simple really. You get what you give out - so if I send out all this negative energy, all the negativity will come my way. But, if I change my silly ways and give out positive energy, positivity will come my way. This is not really rocket science or even some 'zen' way of doing things, it just is a fact of life! Nobody who has ever thought that he or she was unable to be happy in a specific situation has ever been - invariably they are completely miserable. Fact!
So, as of today I choose to see the good and pretty in other people and my environment. I see that Dawie's death nearly two years ago was maybe not the best thing to ever happen to me, but our life was, and if he had not passed away I would not have found FC and been so lucky now. Life is full of strange twists and turns - some of our making, other that happen to us. It's the way we react to those changes and twists that makes the difference here.
So much to be thankful for really - I have a family that supports me fully, a great job in one of the most beautiful city's in the world, a stunning home in that same city and only 4 kilos from my office, my health, enough money to do the things I want to do, a BF that is attentive and give me so much love and attention even from afar, doggies (children) that just give unconditional love every day, a safe and secure lifestyle... So much to be thankful for!
And then there is you - the poor people that have to read my drivel. Bless you all too, for you my dear friends, are as important to me as anyone else, and despite my mood/lack of posting/laziness/general crappyness you're still here. Bless you in abundance!
Now go out there and kiss the one you love more than is needed, hug the people you care for until your arms hurt, and eat, drink and be merry, for this life needs to be amazing, and it can only be so if you make it so!
TTFN
Well, the answer is pretty simple really. You get what you give out - so if I send out all this negative energy, all the negativity will come my way. But, if I change my silly ways and give out positive energy, positivity will come my way. This is not really rocket science or even some 'zen' way of doing things, it just is a fact of life! Nobody who has ever thought that he or she was unable to be happy in a specific situation has ever been - invariably they are completely miserable. Fact!
So, as of today I choose to see the good and pretty in other people and my environment. I see that Dawie's death nearly two years ago was maybe not the best thing to ever happen to me, but our life was, and if he had not passed away I would not have found FC and been so lucky now. Life is full of strange twists and turns - some of our making, other that happen to us. It's the way we react to those changes and twists that makes the difference here.
So much to be thankful for really - I have a family that supports me fully, a great job in one of the most beautiful city's in the world, a stunning home in that same city and only 4 kilos from my office, my health, enough money to do the things I want to do, a BF that is attentive and give me so much love and attention even from afar, doggies (children) that just give unconditional love every day, a safe and secure lifestyle... So much to be thankful for!
And then there is you - the poor people that have to read my drivel. Bless you all too, for you my dear friends, are as important to me as anyone else, and despite my mood/lack of posting/laziness/general crappyness you're still here. Bless you in abundance!
Now go out there and kiss the one you love more than is needed, hug the people you care for until your arms hurt, and eat, drink and be merry, for this life needs to be amazing, and it can only be so if you make it so!
TTFN
Wednesday 1 December 2010
So, be good to yourself...
Just read trough my previous post - oh boy, I'm such an idiot... Sometimes I just say stuff and not think - but maybe that is why I have this blog. It's anonymous (mostly) and no one knows who I am - so if I want to vent, I vent. If I want to make stupid comments and observations - I make stupid comments and observations. Who's gonna stop me?
There's the thing... If someone knows who you are and you say a few things that might be misunderstood or give offence, how do you 'take it back'? How do you unwrite something you've written? You can delete it, but you're stuck with what you've said. You cannot 'unread' a sentence or paragraph now can you?
So, this is a message from me to you today - be good to yourself at all times, and say what you want to say when you want to say it. Sometimes we hurt others with our words, but words are just that - words. You have a choice whether they gonna hurt you or not.
TTFN
There's the thing... If someone knows who you are and you say a few things that might be misunderstood or give offence, how do you 'take it back'? How do you unwrite something you've written? You can delete it, but you're stuck with what you've said. You cannot 'unread' a sentence or paragraph now can you?
So, this is a message from me to you today - be good to yourself at all times, and say what you want to say when you want to say it. Sometimes we hurt others with our words, but words are just that - words. You have a choice whether they gonna hurt you or not.
TTFN
Thursday 18 November 2010
Still going strong...
Your Quit Date is: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 12:00:00 AM
Test Time Smoke-Free: 944 days, 17 hours, 1 minute and 7 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 18894
Lifetime Saved: 4 months, 24 days, 7 hours
Money Saved: S3,304.00
Tuesday 16 November 2010
Of this and that...
So my girl went in for 'the operation' yesterday, and the youngest boy is going for his today. Not so sure this was a good idea to be honest - I was virtually in tears last night when my little girl, who usually cannot sit still for more than a few seconds, just lay there with these accusing eyes. I'm sure she will be back to her old self soon but I still feel guilty...
I know it's the best thing to happen - don't want any unwanted puppies or have the whole complexes dogs parking in front of our gate when she has her 'special time', and I'm also past the point of enjoying when little Jamee decides that he needs to mark his territory and part of that territory is the fridge... Just glad my little doggies are generally very healthy and happy.
FC (the boyfriend) loves them to pieces, and they love him too - after all, he spoils them rotten! What's really nice is to see how he interacts with them on a daily basis, and how much he cares for them. I still believe that people who love animals are special - and this is once again proved in this situation. Animals have a special sense of people, and I trust their judgement...
Further to that - planning a trip to NZ soon, planning this whole move of the folks to Pretoria, planning a trip to Botswana for business and then just waiting for Xmas to come... Can you believe this year is almost over? Unreal...
See - all over the place this morning. No coherent thoughts or writing. Don't you just love days like today...
TTFN
I know it's the best thing to happen - don't want any unwanted puppies or have the whole complexes dogs parking in front of our gate when she has her 'special time', and I'm also past the point of enjoying when little Jamee decides that he needs to mark his territory and part of that territory is the fridge... Just glad my little doggies are generally very healthy and happy.
FC (the boyfriend) loves them to pieces, and they love him too - after all, he spoils them rotten! What's really nice is to see how he interacts with them on a daily basis, and how much he cares for them. I still believe that people who love animals are special - and this is once again proved in this situation. Animals have a special sense of people, and I trust their judgement...
Further to that - planning a trip to NZ soon, planning this whole move of the folks to Pretoria, planning a trip to Botswana for business and then just waiting for Xmas to come... Can you believe this year is almost over? Unreal...
See - all over the place this morning. No coherent thoughts or writing. Don't you just love days like today...
TTFN
Wednesday 10 November 2010
A fresh start!
Hey y'all!
I know, I've been away long enough so that everyone might think - he's probably passed along, or lost interest, or tried to stop a bus and lost, but here I am - still alive and well and still able to bore you to death with a lot of nonsense! A dear friend asked me a while ago how he could start a blog, and this inspired me to revive this here old blog again - thanks Heini...
So, what's new in my life?
Well, I have a BF that shares my life. The puppies are doing well. Mom and Dad are (probably) moving closer to me and the BF so we can look after them (Not so sure about this, but hey...). I'm still smoke free. The whole healthy living thing is working very well for me - lost A LOT of extra me! I've taken a transfer in the company and I'm now based about 4 km from home instead of doing a daily commute of 170km. Still in Pretoria. Life is pretty good in general.
The main thing here is to start writing again. It was very good therapy for me when I was away working in another country, and when Dawie got ill and passed away, and when I was dealing with all sorts of stuff, so maybe I would make an effort and get this going again.
That's all for now, but I will be back...
TTFN
I know, I've been away long enough so that everyone might think - he's probably passed along, or lost interest, or tried to stop a bus and lost, but here I am - still alive and well and still able to bore you to death with a lot of nonsense! A dear friend asked me a while ago how he could start a blog, and this inspired me to revive this here old blog again - thanks Heini...
So, what's new in my life?
Well, I have a BF that shares my life. The puppies are doing well. Mom and Dad are (probably) moving closer to me and the BF so we can look after them (Not so sure about this, but hey...). I'm still smoke free. The whole healthy living thing is working very well for me - lost A LOT of extra me! I've taken a transfer in the company and I'm now based about 4 km from home instead of doing a daily commute of 170km. Still in Pretoria. Life is pretty good in general.
The main thing here is to start writing again. It was very good therapy for me when I was away working in another country, and when Dawie got ill and passed away, and when I was dealing with all sorts of stuff, so maybe I would make an effort and get this going again.
That's all for now, but I will be back...
TTFN
Wednesday 27 January 2010
Uninspired...
Been really bad at trying to keep this blog going of late, and it's mostly 'cause I feel completely uninspired. Have thought of a few things I could post on here, even written a few, but then chose to delete or just not post as it all seemed a little negative and 'black' to me. Don't want anybody to go into a constant state of depression because of my rantings...
That said however, a lot has changed over the last month and a half since I've last posted anything here. My mood is a lot better, my general health is a lot better and I feel a lot better about myself as well.
It was the one year anniversary of Dawie's death on the 24Th of December, and my therapist (how special is this woman?) made a special arrangement to spend time with me in the morning. She was actually on leave and invited me to her home to have a session with me - little old emotional, unbalanced, neurotic me! She had us seated in her garden (really stunning place outside of town) and we had a good cry TOGETHER! You have no idea what that meant to me. It was the most amazing thing - it felt as if a ton of worry was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I know not why, but that specific moment - and that eve which I will talk about now, was the most phenomenal experience of relief I've ever had.
Later - friends organized a little remembrance ceremony. We each said a few words and lit candles for him, and then we had a few drinks and a laugh - Dawie would have been proud, he would not have wanted us to be miserable and sorry for ourselves. And later still, I had the most amazing dream where he visited me... I know, that all sounds very airy fairy, but it felt so real, and brought such peace, that it cannot be anything but real and true...
I dreamt that he was in bed with me, and he lay next to me the way he always did. He looked me in the eye with those deep brown, soulful eyes of his, and told me that he loved me. Then he put his head on my shoulder, and cuddled up next to me like he always did. He put his hand om my chest and said - ''I can feel your heart beating. Be strong my love, be strong. You will be happy again..." And then he just lay there, holding me, loving me... I cannot remember when he 'left' again, but I woke up later with tears streaming down my face, but such an unimaginable sense of relief... It was truly him that came to comfort me!
And now - well, life goes on. Back at work, still seeing the therapist that does not take shit from me, sort of dating again (Just going out and spending time with folks, nothing more!), and just generally trying to go on - and succeeding mostly. Life is pretty - and it's getting prettier by the day...
TTFN
That said however, a lot has changed over the last month and a half since I've last posted anything here. My mood is a lot better, my general health is a lot better and I feel a lot better about myself as well.
It was the one year anniversary of Dawie's death on the 24Th of December, and my therapist (how special is this woman?) made a special arrangement to spend time with me in the morning. She was actually on leave and invited me to her home to have a session with me - little old emotional, unbalanced, neurotic me! She had us seated in her garden (really stunning place outside of town) and we had a good cry TOGETHER! You have no idea what that meant to me. It was the most amazing thing - it felt as if a ton of worry was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I know not why, but that specific moment - and that eve which I will talk about now, was the most phenomenal experience of relief I've ever had.
Later - friends organized a little remembrance ceremony. We each said a few words and lit candles for him, and then we had a few drinks and a laugh - Dawie would have been proud, he would not have wanted us to be miserable and sorry for ourselves. And later still, I had the most amazing dream where he visited me... I know, that all sounds very airy fairy, but it felt so real, and brought such peace, that it cannot be anything but real and true...
I dreamt that he was in bed with me, and he lay next to me the way he always did. He looked me in the eye with those deep brown, soulful eyes of his, and told me that he loved me. Then he put his head on my shoulder, and cuddled up next to me like he always did. He put his hand om my chest and said - ''I can feel your heart beating. Be strong my love, be strong. You will be happy again..." And then he just lay there, holding me, loving me... I cannot remember when he 'left' again, but I woke up later with tears streaming down my face, but such an unimaginable sense of relief... It was truly him that came to comfort me!
And now - well, life goes on. Back at work, still seeing the therapist that does not take shit from me, sort of dating again (Just going out and spending time with folks, nothing more!), and just generally trying to go on - and succeeding mostly. Life is pretty - and it's getting prettier by the day...
TTFN
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