Therapy...

So, with so much that happened recently and me feeling quite alone at times, I thought that therapy would be in order. Now, besides the actual therapy where I get to speak to my therapist for an hour a week, other therapy has come to mind, and now I have to choose between:

1. Laying out a new garden and making it happen. Dawie and I both love(d) to be outside, and I feel that a new space at home will not only keep me busy over the weekends, but will also be a good thing to remember him by.

2. Redecorating. But I don't think so, as we recently did do the whole house and I'm not ready to change all of that yet...

3. Veg'in in front of the box. Once again, not a bad option but it does tend to make me feel, well, useless and numb. And, it seems that the universe is out to make me cry like a total girl - had a rerun of Ghost the other day on Classic and I sat and watched it... NOT a good idea!

4. Taking a nice long holiday. This, I feel, is maybe a really good idea! Mom and me, in a car just driving and seeing where we end up. Or, maybe just me on my own - I will still see... Or, really going for it and buying an air ticket to somewhere in the world I'd like to go - New York, Phuket, London, Sydney...

5. Retail Therapy - No, not really an option. Everything I want I have - except for the one thing that I really want and can't have anymore... Not that he was for sale.

The sadness is still here, the heartache is ever present, but the good memories are starting to win the battle. I'm sure that every first will be dramatic - first birthday alone, anniversary etc, but this too shall pass and he will live in my thoughts forever!


On another note. Dawie was quite a keen poet. He wrote this poem for me before he passed away.

I KNOW YOU LOVE ME

Darling, I know you love me
You don’t have to tell me, this I can see
When I was sick, your love showed as you stood by my bed,
Your love showed as you held me close and caressed my head.

You showed me love each and every day,
You showed me your love in many and all kinds of ways.
Your love for me held fast when I would give way to tears,
It was your love for me that helped me when I was filled with fears.

It was your love that helped me through times that were so trying,
Your love would never let me see frustration and crying.
Darling, I knew you loved me right from the start,
I will love you always, from deep in my heart.

I know that you love me,
Your love for me showed throughout the suffer,
I know you love me, so please God help me
To acknowledge the love of my lover.

Darling, I just know you love me,
‘cause a more loving lover there couldn’t be,
I will always have a special place for you in my heart,
I know this even if we are now apart.

Hope you have a blessed day.